American Dating Traditions
America is comprised of various ethnic groups, and each of them boasts its own unique culture. Therefore, it can be said that the dating culture in America, or Columbia, the land of Columbus, how it is sometimes jokingly referred to, is extremely diverse; with acceptable practices changing from one group to the next, and similarly, differs with location. For the most part though, common grounds can be found and the dating culture takes on a more casual approach.
It is commonplace for singles interested in dating to find each other at dance clubs, bars, dating sites or even at the dog park! Both parties usually are expected to be in a causal relationship - though it is not unusual for such a meetup to lead to something more serious. After meeting each other and exchanging contact information, both parties will go on at least one date (typically, more will follow if they ‘hit it off’). Unlike what you might be used to, it is normal for both parties to split the bill – instead of the host taking care of all the expenses.
It is also not unusual for a woman to ask a guy out on a date – so be prepared to be swept off your feet by her and try not to blush! American women are generally open minded and will not laugh too hard if you approach them with a cheesy pickup line. This also means that they will not typically go on a date with the intention of marrying you, even if they say that they love you during the first date.
In the same light, following the casual theme, being in a sexual relationship is not synonymous with dating exclusively. Often it needs to be explicitly conveyed what type of relationship both partners share and what level of commitment is expected, for example “Are we in a serious relationship? Should we stop seeing other people?”. Similarly, it is not uncommon for a couple who is dating, or even in a casual sexual relationship to move in together; this is seen as normal even if neither party intends to marry.
While walking in the park, it is not uncommon to see a couple hug and share a passionate kiss when they meet – for men, women, kids and pets to see. In fact, such displays of affection in public are widely accepted and seen as normal.
One distinctive feature of dating though is that, unlike in the countries such as India, where parents’ influence in the matchmaking and dating process is substantial, American parents, by choice or not, are typically not involved and they have little to no influence in the decisions of their children.
Russian Dating Traditions in the States
Any cultured Russian would know just how conservative Russian dating practices are. In regards to dating culture, Russians are generally old school. You can find a Russian woman for dating basically everywhere. It is important that norms and traditions be upheld while dating, and this cannot be overly stressed. In order to date successfully in Russia, it is important for the man to understand his traditional roles and responsibilities, and the same goes for the woman. Even if one party has a more contemporary perspective towards said roles and responsibilities, it is important for their partner to know them well if they want to get along with friends and family members.
Like in the past, Russian men see themselves as the head of the household and superior to their female counterpart. Traditionally, women were expected to make sure that their man is comfortable while raising the children and making sure that the house is in order. Men, on the other hand, were expected to be respectful towards their woman and to treat them well; giving compliments and gifts such as the occasional bouquet to make her realize just how much of a gem she truly is and demonstrate his endless love for her. Russian women customarily appreciate such gestures and reciprocate by working hard at home and taking care of their spouse and children. In fact, they pride themselves in walking the thin line of being a strong, capable and caring wife, while remaining feminine and attractive. In Russia women traditionally opt to marry from a young age, and those who remain single – especially more mature ones – are often frowned upon.
Someone who is not Russian might mistake two Russians engaging in a friendly conversation as being in a relationship, since what they will see is too persons standing close together and occasionally touching each other while conversing. They may even see an exchange of a few kisses which would confirm their suspicion; these signs are just seen as friendly gestures by Russians though, and indeed they are just that. Russians are also expressive and opinionated in their formal and informal interactions with friends, colleagues and partners.
What Russian Women think about American Men – the land of opportunity
American men are off to a good start, since Russian women generally view them in high regards. This is thanks to medias such as movies and soap operas which a majority of their opinions is based off of.
Russian women see American men as more financially stable – compared to their Russian counterparts. They realize that average American man enjoys a higher standard of living – comfortable apartments, nice clothes, and the deal-maker is that everyone (even students) seem to own a car – unlike in Russia where only students from rich families are privy to vehicles. Thanks to these movies also, Russian women are of the view that an average American can easily afford a plane ticket; unlike them who have to stick with trains since this mode is more affordable.
They also see American men who want to find a Russian woman as more affectionate and supportive, which can be attributed to the fact that these men are not afraid of expressing their feelings while connecting to their women on a more emotional level. This is compared to Russian men who, in trying to be tough, may come off as more apathetic and insensitive. In her eyes, American men do not try to assert their dominance onto them since they are inherently more confident and independent and also decisive in their actions; they are more success-oriented.
But it doesn’t end there. Again, thanks to the ideas which are portrayed by movies, American men are seen as Romeos (from Romeo and Juliet) and Jacks (from Titanic). True lady killers. American men are seen as romantic; knowing just the right things to say, right things to do, right places to touch (wink-wink), and just the right time to do it. And which woman does not appreciate a little romance?
But that’s not all. In the eyes of Russian women, American men also score a point over Russian men when it comes to sociability. Russian men are not known for sharing friendly smiles with strangers as they walk down the street or starting small talk while they wait on a train; they are generally perceived as a reserved lot. American men on the other hand are more polite, charismatic and just easier to talk with, and these are just a few of the qualities which add to their charm.
So far, thanks to stereotypes ingrained onto the minds of Russian women by movies (have you started thanking Brad Pitt and George Clooney yet?), American men have so much going on for them. But there is still more! Not only are they seen as financially superior, respectful, romantic and sociable, but they are also seen being healthier. Russian men brought this one on themselves – with their tendency to submit to their notorious alcoholic craving. In fact, this shortfall has been a major reason behind many divorces in Russia. This is a problem which many Russian men battle and is especially prevalent in communities where there is a high unemployment rate. Now switch to America and you will see a stud living in a more prosperous setting, exercising regularly, looking younger than the average Russian man his age, and just living a healthier life in general. Just what Russian women like in a man!
One area where American men will have to tread carefully though is when it comes times to dealing with her Russian humor. Russian jokes are unique since the majority are based on the irony of a situation. This therefore requires you to be sharp-witted to appreciate it.
One more area which you will need to touch up on is your knowledge of her homeland. Thanks to the difference in education systems, Russians tend to boast a more extensive knowledge in a variety of areas, including those covering history and events around the world – including their own country. To meet her halfway, you should get familiar with facts about her homeland so that you can stimulate her mind with an intellectual conversation and hold your own.
Russian Dating on Facebook in the land of liberty
Facebook is a generic social media platform which has found itself in the dating arena. Launching its dating service, which it based in the US, one perk which it boasts to offer is personalized dating profiles which will be generated by looking at activities -such as posts, interests, likes, etc. – of those using their platform to create a more in-dept dating profile. Facebook, which has more than 200 million users listed as single plans to launch their dating platform to help these individuals to find “meaningful relationships”, looking at similarities between individuals. This said, Facebook is used by many Russian women with the intention of forming new relationships and thus can be seen as an untapped resource waiting to be exploited.
Alternative apps and services which offer similar services include Tinder and Bumble, but these still are only spinoffs of Facebook and are controlled by it. Currently, public opinion is swaying away from Facebook as it continues to address criticism concerning unethical use and distribution of user data.
Facebook Dating was not known for its ease-of-use either, for example, it would ask users to create a separate profile from scratch, although it could easily procure this information from the Facebook platform which it sits on. Russian women using this app would choose which, or whether to import pictures and personal details from Facebook while other details such as their age and first name were a must and could not be changed.
Russian Dating Controversy in America
To you American men who are looking for Russian women, you’d better be prepared! One major point of conflict is their view towards multiculturalism. America is known as the a ‘melting pot’ of cultures, and for the most part they enjoy interacting with various ethnic groups and exchanging cultures. Now switch to Russia and you will witness a society that is ethnocentric – leaving little to no room to accept or be flexible towards other ethnic groups that are not ‘white’. This area of difference where many Russian women set themselves up for disappointment and a sudden awakening upon entering the US.
Alternatively, as stated before, you must be willing and ready to date a Russian woman and to accept this Slavic lady into your life. Do not attempt to control them; they are no fools, so it will end badly for you. You must be willing to commit yourself to her 100% with the intention of marrying her in the foreseeable future, and her interests must be held in high regard. If you are not able to promise this much, then you should reconsider. The same goes for if you are broke – no one likes a broke bloke, and Russian women more so. Remember, American men are perceived financially sound by these women, therefore you must be able to deliver on that expectation and be prepared to treat your Russian woman like a doll – in her eyes she is one and American women don’t hold a candle to her. If you fall short of these mandatory expectations, then pull out your umbrella, because she will rain down on you.
Russian Americans in the US
The Russian American ethnic group as of 2020 accounts for approximately 4% of the entire American population, standing at 3.14 million, according to the Institute of Modern Russia. The Russian American population is comprised of Americans, whose family lineage can be linked back to Russia, the Russian Empire or Soviet Union and also those who have recently migrated to the US. Most of these Russian migrants can be found in the North-West region of the US.
After the acquisition of Alaska (what was then known as Russian America) by the United States in 1867, large groups of Russian immigrants who had been fleeing religious persecution settled in the US mainland. These groups inhabited coastal cities – on both the East Coast and the West Coast - such as Brooklyn, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Subsequent to this though, during the reign of the Soviet Union, immigration became restricted, only to resume in increase in earnest during the 1990s after its fall.
The Russian ties in the American populace are deep and wide, and there are a variety of groups which may opt to identify themselves as Russian Americans. These include, but are not limited to: Belarusian, Rusyn and even Jewish Americans, alongside other ethnic groups with ties to the historic Russian Empire and Soviet Union.
Presently, many Russian Americans have experienced acculturalization and speak little to no Russian whatsoever – since they were born and raised in the US. However, the language is still reasonably prevalent; in 2008 a U.S. Consensus found that 851,168 American homes where Russian was the main tongue, and this number seems to be rising, if the study conducted in 1991 by Harvard’s Davis Center for Russian and Eurasian Studies is to be taken into account, which demonstrated that there were only 740,000 Russian Americans who had ethnic roots in Russia.
In the past, the majority of Russian migrants would legally enter the US through the New York metropolitan area. Currently, many Russian Americans can be found in this general region, and more specifically in the area of Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. Over the years however, Russian Americans, despite their humble origins, have found themselves climbing the socioeconomic ladder, and it is commonplace to find them in more affluent areas such as Bergen Country, New Jersey. The pervasive presence of Russian Americans in Bergen County and Fair Lawn even prompted an April Fool’s stunt in 2014, which was known as “Putin Moves Against Fair Lawn”.
Nowadays, you can find a Russian woman in a wider variety of ethnic groups identifying themselves as Russian Americans, some of these include Carpatho-Rusyns and Ukrainians. The people migrated from Carpathian Ruthenia during the period of the 19th century to the beginning of the 20th century. These groups are known by the recent immigrants as ‘starozhili’, which means “old residents”. Throughout the years they have become established in the community and have even founded their own religious sanctuary called the Russian Orthodox Church in America. Most of the traditions introduced by these ‘old residents’ are upheld by this church as the members themselves become assimilated into the American society.