One man is often attracted to a certain woman without any conscious understanding of the underlying process, his choice is made on the basis of his feelings alone. Connection and attraction are driven by their own in-built logic, however, this logic is not straightforward, it is based on emotions. Very often the love choice a person makes defies common logic and goes way beyond it. Let’s dig a bit deeper into this.
A man doesn’t jump to fall in love with a lady just because he cherishes a great relationship and the light of genuine love in his life. Or just because she is a great cook or a formidable lover who does unimaginable things to please him. In other words, we are not guided by logic and by the assessment of certain values when we get to love a person. Emotions and feelings are subject to their own, however twisted, logic, and this “love logic” rejects such words as “fair” or “sense”. The sooner it is accepted as an intrinsic element of our life, the more fulfilling your relationship will become.
Once I was attending an event of speed dating in Kyev where I was struck by a particular couple – she was a nubile, young lady in her twenties, almost a girl, he was a seasoned man in his fifties. Yet they were gently holding each other’s hands and looking into each other’s eyes with tender affection. Later I found out they got married and went to live in Norway, his home country.
The emotional factor plays the decisive role in our love life. Many psychologists claim that it takes just 3 seconds for a man or for a woman to determine if they feel sexual appeal towards a stranger. Next comes the bonding, chemistry level. Everything plays a crucial, subconscious role in this emotional process of establishing the initial connection. The vibes that come from you may or may not coincide with the vibes of the woman you are falling in love with. It is a very subtle, almost extra-terrestrial feeling. The emotional attraction may become reciprocal, and that’s when the real love is born. This love is ethereal, it knows no physical boundaries and rises against the common logic.
A woman who is capable of communicating with a man on the level that offers a lot of emotional experience will cause this man fall in deep love with her. Physical attraction is certainly important and valuable, many men seem to be after this – they seek out slender, tall and beautiful women. Yet no true love will be born from the relationship with such a woman unless it is accompanied by their close emotional bonding. This chemistry is much less objective than the mere physical attraction, yet it is way more powerful. A marriage can become a lasting success only if a man and a woman are tied together with this invisible yet very powerful emotional cohesion.
Such a woman will never attune her inner world to the ever changing outside circumstances. She will not love him because of what he is doing for her, because he is a great bread winner for the family or because he has extremely healthy habits and a fit, athletic body. She will love him for this emotional bond that transcends mundane physical boundaries and goes well beyond, to the outer space and the twinkling stars above our heads in the nightly sky.
When I was dating my dear wife in Moscow, and dating in Russia is awesome, I should tell you, this emotional bond between us was formed during our very first date on the Arbat Street. And we have carried on this emotional connection throughout all these years.
Most mature men adore bearing the responsibility for their wives and their family, yet true love can only be unconditional and transcendent. That’s why there is no happiness in a family where the wife measures her attitude to her husband depending on what he brings to the marriage table. A truly great woman loves her husband unconditionally, without any material expectations whatsoever. And a true miracle usually happens in such families – neither them nor their children know any financial hardship throughout their entire lives. Love prevails over it all.