She is also teaching students at the Lostono Art School. Lena lives in the heart of the city, right on the Nevsky Prospect. She is ambitious and independent. Lena came to Saint Petersburg to study linguistics at the University and simply stayed here. She is 35 yeas old, life has been treating her great so far, no regrets. Well, there is one particular regret that she did share with us in the course of the interview.
Despite being successful and even somewhat in the vogue stream, Zhukovskinaya, like so many Slavic ladies, has almost lost hope of meeting a reliable man at her Rodina (Motherland in Russian). The litany list against her male countrymen is quite extensive: many of them smoke and abuse alcohol, some even are drug addicts, many resort to home violence and don’t know proper ways how to make a woman genuinely happy. Most expect their women to excel in cooking, house-cleaning, babysitting and sex at the same time. It is not that rare that Slavic males feel threatened by prospering and well-educated Russian women.
The prospects of finding the right soul mate have indeed been grim for Lena who, like quite many Slavic women of her age and status, has been consciously choosing to remain single. It should be said that only in Moscow there are over three million women aged 23-30, out of the capital population over 11 million. The number of single men is three times less.
Factors that determine the current situation with single women in Russia
There are many factors that contribute to a lot of young women being single in Russia and in other Slavic countries. Decades of revolutions, wars, gulags and deportations, a severe prison system in general have taken a vicious toll. Besides this, the following points can also be mentioned:
- Average life expectancy in Russia for women is 74 years, while the prospects are quite desperate for men – only 58 years;
- Russian state doesn’t support married couples as effectively as many Western states, which eventually makes many people choose a single way of life;
- Slavic men are prone to alcoholism and smoking;
- Women do not receive the proper attention and respect they are seeking from men;
- Slavic men are not able to accept the dominance of females on the family and business/politics arena
“I don’t really want to marry a drug-abuser or an alcoholic, or a gambler, only to remain empty-handed later on, without an emotional support for me or for my children. I have registered on a few international dating sites that do let me see some light at the end of this dark tunnel. My simple plan is to find a trustworthy man in France or in the United States. I hope he will be a bit older than me so that he knows what he really wants in life. I am not interested in his earnings at all, I don’t expect to tackle down a Roberto Niro or a pop star. An average-looking man will suit me just fine. But he has to love kids and to understand women, that’s one of my not so many requirements,” Lena told us over the telephone.
Lena’s stance actually mirrors the fact that in Russia men need are yet to come to terms with the ongoing liberalization of their women. This point is of a particularly acute frustration among younger generations. There is an overwhelming majority of women in Russia, yet only 4 percent of the local CEOs are females, the men-women ratio among politicians is about as low. Russian women have been exalted by many poets for their strong will and cast-iron character – let’s remember Nikolay Nekrasov who claimed that a Russian woman can “stop a galloping horse and enter a burning house to save you”. However, most serious society matters are still resolved by males, sometimes in informal circumstances in steaming baths in the society of easy-going girls.
Only recently Russian women have found a way to circumvent this cumbersome and obsolete social system by participating in Internet networking and in females-only clubs. There are all sorts of various female clubs in Russia now. The club “Lonely Soul” of single mothers enjoys a growing popularity in Saint Petersburg. Lena, a single mother of a 5 years old daughter, gladly participates in the club’s ongoing activities. Her input is always appreciated and in some cases even demanded. Many of the ladies from this club have joined russian4bride.com with the aim of finding a husband abroad.
“All we want is some understanding, we are not asking for stars from the sky or for expensive jewelry! We would like our kids to have caring and loving fathers who will not miss their B-days and will always be around to support and to guide them in their fledgling attempts to learn the wonderful world they have been brought into. I can even sacrifice my personal freedom for that, to a certain extent, though I am a staunch feminist,” says Natalya Grusinskaya, a dear friend of Lena.
Russian male leadership under attack
A woman of integrity is a married woman, goes the old Russian saying. The former governor of Saint Petersburg Valentina Matvienko, now a senior and respected politician in the Moscow elite, has vowed to launched an era of matriarchy in her own country. “Be prepared for the direct matriarchy, the time is ripe for drastic social changes. Don’t expect us women to always trail somewhere behind, the next president here will be a woman, just give us 10-15 years!” she said at the famous press-conference in March, 2010.
Russian women are on a belligerent march to win the hearts and votes of their citizens. Many are still single and lonely though, because this aggressive attitude doesn’t give them what they crave first and foremost - a loving family. Most of them are aware of this and spend more of their leisure time abroad and on international dating sites where they make profiles as brides and are looking for their “soul catch”, as they have nick-named the Western men they are “hunting”.
Western men meet single Russian ladies
Many Western men are only happy to reciprocate this attitude, they are way too tired of their own militant (and by all means not that beautiful) feminists who promote their own nefarious agendas. Russian women are way more naïve and way more attractive to be left alone! The competition on the Slavic dating market is fierce, yet there is always a room for the men of all imaginable looks and incomes. Lena Zhukovskinaya is flying to New York tomorrow – her suitor, John K., a divorced lawyer and a man of great heart, is waiting for her arrival with great impatience. He is full of matrimonial aspirations. A bouquet of seven bright-red roses rests on his car’s passenger seat, soon to be presented to his future wife, Lena.