Truth be told, every single grown-up person has something to hide, some ugly or inappropriate events or facts from their former life. These can be the hurts that we had to go through or the mistakes that we made. None of us is eager to begin rattling them around in the presence of the new Ukrainian bride. At the same time, we are subconsciously aware that similar lurking surprises may be in stock for us from the other side – from this Slavic lady we are currently in love with.
In order to cope with this challenging situation, the following should be taken into account.
The first and the foremost fact that you need to bear in your mind is that it is a rather common occurrence and there is nothing to be ashamed or angry about. We would go as far as claiming it is an intrinsic part of human life – even nuns and monks may have unpleasant secrets, so what can be expected from us, unworthy mere mortals? Better view it as an unavoidable facet of human life and know how to deal with this.
First of all, establish the required high level of mutual trust with your Ukrainian lady. If there are any secrets from her previous life, you better learn about them in advance, especially if they are bound to have a certain bearing on your joint married life in the future.
When you set out to find a Ukrainian bride on an international dating site, your hopes were high to find a perfect match for yourself. However, right now you may have doubts and second thoughts, after beginning to get to know her closer and in a more relaxed atmosphere. These doubts are perfectly normal and happen to most men, especially if you haven’t gone through the wedding routine yet. At this juncture your own confidence and integrity will play the crucial role and will be submitted to a ruthless test. Your optimism and resolve can overcome the most serious skeletons in your or in your bride’s closet. Don’t play a witch though and don’t try to predict the future outcome, practice a gradual and friendly approach.
Acceptance in any form is one of the crucial ingredients to having an upper hand over the skeletons from the past. Carry out your personal assessment first before even approaching your Ukrainian woman with this. Do you live in peace with your own past or are there hidden storms and insecurities in that inner closet of yours? How big is your own skeleton and how it may affect your future married life?
Actually you should be able to answer all those uneasy questions even before you set foot in Ukraine to look for a bride there or invite a Ukrainian lady over to your own country. Come to terms with your own past and fully embrace an unshakable optimism for the future.
Then find some time to have an open conversation with your bride about these possible issues and their likely implications. If you are still communicating with many ladies on a Ukrainian dating site, don’t rush forward to question all them about their secret skeletons. It would be viewed as rude by them, and rightly so. Besides, no lady would really be willing to share her darkest, cumbersome secrets with a person she hardly knows, even if she likes this person a lot.
Don’t even press with the matter at your very first date, let some time pass before raising this touchy subject. After you both get to know each other better she may be the first to broach this topic, so be patient.
After you have openly shared some or all of your uncomely secrets, the time will be ripe to review how they may affect your life together, whether directly or indirectly. For instance, her doubts and self-humiliation because of her past may become a significant hindrance in the development of your relationship. The Devil is always buried in some little minute details, so your conversation regarding this should not be limited to a casual chit-chat.
If you have a rather high level of mutual trust, there is an almost 100% chance that her former secrets and problems will not affect your life together. That is, unless they are not of the financial kind – those need to be covered in detail too, but it is the topic of another discussion.